Yuku free message boards

I am 36 (male, straight) and have never been married. I am not ugly or fat or tall or short. I have hair, all of it. A little grey on the sides but still very brown mostly. I've been in many relationships, several lasting for multiple years.

That sentence above is now my very first personal profile of myself that I have ever written on the computer.

I have never dated on the net. I have never created a profile on any singles page. For some reason, it just isn't my bag.

When it comes to women taking the first step, for me it needs to be very subtle. I don't think it's a bad thing for a woman to be the aggressor initially, but too much and I back off. Some men are the exact opposite, they need or crave that female aggression. Some men don't care and it doesn't effect or influence their level of interest in the woman one way or another. I wish I was the latter of the three, it's more freedom of the mind and heart. Also, to be able to want what the heart wants, without your petty little brain messing it up for you is probably a sign of higher intelligence. In other words, smarter men don't sweat the small stuff (as much).

I usually meet women at work events or by chance through friends. I have met them under other circumstances as well but I have yet to actually take a girl out that I've met at a bar. I am shy at bars for whatever reason, unless I'm with good friends and having fun. I'm 36 so this doesn't take place as much as it used to as just about all of my friends are married with kids now. I'm like the last of the warriors in my group. As a matter of fact, my best friend's wife gets angry when he hangs with me. There is an insecurity there. Somewhere in her imagination, she draws a picture of me and her husband at bars hitting on women. This will not ever happen because it's not my style. My buddy knows this but can't convince his wife that I am not "Larry" from threes company. I am not "pe pe le peau". I am not out there "preying" on the city streets or stacking up all these crazy sex stories for my friends to hear either. I think she knows this about me but it doesn't matter. If I was married, I don't think it (hanging with my friend) would be an issue at all.

OK, well it's not exactly a party being 36 and never married, no children, somewhat handsome and in good shape, and straight. I am in a pretty small category of people. People think it's strange. They think it's oddball. They think there is something wrong with me. Maybe he has anger issues, maybe he is gay, maybe his thingy doesn't work, maybe he is a jealous fiend, maybe he's just a loser, irresponsible, immature perhaps. SOMETHING HAS TO BE WRONG WITH HIM!!!

My employers and co-workers think it's weird too. I can't count how many times someone (usually women) will ask me semi-deep questions about past relationships that failed or just many queries into why I'm not more settled (family wise). In the end, It's not a terrible thing to be in my position but it is rather awkward at times. At functions, everyone talks about their spouse and their kids. I have nothing to say and it feels strange and uncomfortable at times. Like I'm just floating off on some island by myself and everyone is getting on with their lives the way they are "supposed to". Then, there are my parents. They are absolutely pissed that I have not given them grandchildren, that I haven't "settled down" yet.

In my experience with women over 30, the most aggressive women out there are usually married or committed and are looking to cheat. Either that or they're drunk (or both committed AND drunk). That is something to certainly steer clear of. If I am attracted to someone, all I really need is the time to talk to her to realize if there is a connection between us. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Just finding a woman who is in my category (single, not repulsive, 28-40 years old, divorcees with kids don't count) can be tough.

Anyway, the poster that stated getting into conversations about family or personal matters or anything too deep, can destroy a relationship getting off the ground was as right as rain. DONT DO THAT.

1st few MONTHS you got to be carefree and fun. You must be really attracted to each other and these kind of conversational detours are deadly. Let the initial attraction guide the beginning of the relationship. There is plenty of time for the "real" person to come into scope just through living every day life and it doesn't take long if you know what to look for. Find out the qualities that make you happy and allow you to enjoy life more than if you were not with that person. When someone has those traits that you are looking for, whatever they may be (a big one for me is reaction to problem or crisis) GO FOR IT.

I will be unmarried until I find her. Maybe I found her once or twice and she got away. Maybe I thought time was of no consequence when I was younger.

I know it sounds cheezy but I really feel that you must allow your partner to be themselves completely and totally, at all times, and you must love them for it. Obviously, it's just as important as you being YOURSELF too, and your partner loving YOU for that.


I forgot where I was going with this but good luck Elizabeth and just be yourself. Look for the one who wants you for that.

i dont know if that is the "healthy" outlook. but then Im no Doctor Phil either.

whats funny is that when you stop looking for something, you find it.